Armed with a healthy hunk of Brit humour, Tim Howe reflects on the ups and downs of ex-pat life in backwater Bavaria. He also helps learners over the hurdles of his oft illogical mother tongue.
Know Howe and you'll know how.
We'd been sipping coffee outside the Fresco branch of Whole Foods, chatting to my colleague Rod, recently removed from Munich back to the States, when he suddenly glanced at his watch and indicated it was time to leave. Then, instead of shaking hands, he simply got up and waved. At first I thought his friendly gesture was directed at someone across the 'parking lot'. But no, as he proceeded to head off, it was evidently intended for us. Over the following weeks as we sped down the Pacific Highway I noticed everyone else doing it. Regardless of how near or far the distance between them.
The New Yorker 20.08.18
Very soon I started following the American example, greeting people with a wave too. Admittedly, it felt a bit odd at first. Waving is surely just for royals and A-listers, isn't it? Or, for mere plebs, upon seeing someone you recognise across the street or winding down the car window for one final farewell, right? Well, not in SoCal, apparently. Americans even have a name for this gesture –the 'parade wave'.
Let's reflect for a moment on the European way of greeting. With all the different ways of saying hello and goodbye we're easily confused. Should one kiss, hug, high five or hand-pump? Germans have a habit of knocking on the table whenever they get up and go. Or – and this puzzled me at first – they scrunch up their nose and blink both eyes at you. After 20 years in this country I still can't get used to either farewell gesture. Instead I often end up doing that very British thing of patting friends on the back or the arm. Cringe!
Whichever touch-feely approach we Europeans adopt, our greetings and farewells can be awkward at best and clumsy at worst. Particularly when we accidentally end up bumping noses, or knocking the other one's glasses off. Cringe again!
Many fellow Europeans dismiss the U.S.A. these days as having losing the plot, but most Americans we chatted to were extremely sympathetic and apologetic about the current state of affairs. Many sounded confident about the mid-term elections. We left the country feeling generally optimistic. As for no-nonsense greetings, meanwhile, three cheers for the good ole 'merican way.